well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
