he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
