I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
me + whiskey = a bad person
Randomize
