Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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