Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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