I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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