yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
