Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
my shit smells like andre
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
