I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
