i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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