I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
