So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
