I only kidnapped one of them. chill
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
