i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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