Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
