in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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