then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
