so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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