Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
