have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
why do cheetos always look like penises
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Randomize
