That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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