Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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