so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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