She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
