So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
