There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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