You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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