One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I think I sprained my soul last night
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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