quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
