is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
