so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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