Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
