I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
