It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
