If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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