she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
