On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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