I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I cannot find my penis.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
