I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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