The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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