Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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