he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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