I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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