Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Shame - the story of my life.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
