i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
