Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I FOUND THE LEGS
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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