Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
pray to the hookup gods
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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