Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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