whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
