that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
