we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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